I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
