A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize