Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
