Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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