Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
