You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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