her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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