She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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