weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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