his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
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one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
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You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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