You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize