he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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