I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
