she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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