Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
