No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
