I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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