This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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