Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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