one two three fourrrrnication!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
