If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
