Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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