yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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