when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
