Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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