just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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