i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
