But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
