He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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