Are we in a gay sports bar?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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