I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
