P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
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Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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