so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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