Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize