he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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