dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
