Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
