forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can text with my tongue
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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