Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
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If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize