carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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