AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
