brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
