dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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