Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
