i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
