I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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