I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
