She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
