you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
