How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
