Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
