PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize