So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You pole danced in your parka.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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