capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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