Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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