Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
