Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
