i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
