The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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