I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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