Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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