I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
