I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
