Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
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I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
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the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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