Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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