Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
