After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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