well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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