i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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