she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
