Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
