It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
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Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
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Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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