god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
